“We’ve enough dimensions as it is” – Call to Ban 3D Films

Three-dimensional films have come under fire this week as a group of Island residents have called into question just why we need so many dimensions in cinema.

Island resident Dorothy Uptite, founder of the Island Residents for the Preservation of Archaic Cinema (IRPAC), has been heading the campaign to limit cinema to two-dimensions.

“We need to ask ourselves what the point is”, complained the old frump loudly whilst addressing a rally outside the Island premiere screening of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, “companies keep piling these extras on us to add to our enjoyment, but we need to learn when to just say stop, no, this is enough!”

Unabated by the obvious disinterest from the public she continued, “Why do we even need the second dimension? My husband often tells me I am a one-dimensional character, and that is all I need.

We feel the need to constantly adorn ourselves with all these unnecessary extras and enjoy life, but why?”

Mrs Uptite has yet to find any answers to her questions as customers we told they could take their seats ready for the screening.

IRPAC have also since suspended all group activity as Mrs Uptite is now very busy handling divorce proceedings from her husband.