Island to Crack Down on Worrying Levels of Excitement 
Isle of Wight Legalises Paracetamol 
Labour Government Write off Isle of Wight as a Loss 
‘Most Intact Dinosaur for 100 Years’ Discovered on Isle of Wight 
Boris Johnson Confirmed He Didn’t Really Know What He Would End Up Saying Before COVID Briefings “COVID Living” Expansion Released for The Sims 4
EA Games have released a “COVID Living” expansion pack for the latest in their long-running…
Isle of Wight Council Employ Approximately 100 Ducks to Tackle Lockdown Breaches
Responding to fears that large numbers of people intend to ignore the rules of the…
Cushelle Koala to Buy Sandown with Lockdown 3.0 Toilet Roll Profits
As people begin to restart panic buying toilet roll following the news of a third…
Police Given Powers to tell COVID Restriction Rule-Breakers “we aren’t angry, we’re just very disappointed”
The Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has given the UK Police new powers which will allow…
Future COVID Tier Levels to be Decided by National Lottery Machines
The UK government has resolved that decisions regarding all future changes to local COVID tier…
Queen’s 2020 Christmas Speech will be Broadcast via Pay-Per-View for £125
The annual Christmas Speech will be made available through pay-per-view this year as part of…
Isle of Wight Invest in Very Large Stick to Push Itself Away from Mainland UK
After a week of increasingly worrying news regarding the new more infectious variant of the…
Majority of Husbands Support Stricter Christmas Restrictions
A snap survey of Isle of Wight husbands has shown that they would support tougher…
Five Last Minute Gift Ideas For People You Don’t Care About this Christmas
Less than five days to go before Christmas this year. You still haven’t bought a…