Isle of Wight to Become Separate State?

The Isle of Wight is to set a date for a referendum on whether it should maintain ties with The Mainland, or become its own independent state.

Following suit with Scotland, the Isle of Wight Council is confident that the Island has all it needs to hold its own on the international playing field.

“Why should we bend to the whims of those bastards up north when we have everything we need right here?” said Cllr Bernard Criggens. “We are thriving. Only last year we opened up a Waitrose in East Cowes; and for everyone else we are working on turning Newport into one giant 99p centre.”

Asking all residents the question Should the Isle of Wight remain a part of the UK? the vote is set to take place July 2015. Early opinion polls so far predict a largely positive response towards Isle of Wight independence.

There are still however, those who remain sceptical.

Professor Edward Picking suggested in an open letter to the Isle of Wight Council that a move of independence would cripple the Islands economy, rendering it even more isolated and backwards than it already stands.

In response to Professor Pickings doubts Cllr Criggens said: “Well Scotland is made up of haggis, highland cows, snow and alcohol. If they can do it, so can we.”

If the vote passes successfully the Isle of Wight will become an independent state by 2018.

Hinting at plans for the Island if it does become independent Cllr Criggins said: “First we will invade Guernsey, then the world.”