Isle of Wight to be Renamed Poundland

Following recent competition in Newport branch from the new 99p Store, Poundland have this week unveiled their counter move: the Isle of Wight is to be renamed Poundland.

In a huge advertising drive the nationwide chain of £1 stores have bought the branding rights to the Isle of Wight name.

Poundland have found themselves facing falling sales following the arrival of competition from the new 99p Store. The tantalising prospect of huge 1p savings has provoked previously loyal Poundlandolians to emigrating across the street.

“Its just too good to pass up,” said shopper Myrtle Scrimp. “Savings like these are events someone like me can only dream of. I save ten pence every ten items, thats one free item for every 99 I buy!”

Miss Scrimps observations are hard to deny. In order for Poundland to reclaim its place in the Island economy it needed to do something fantastic.

A battle that has seen itself hurting more than just business, the competition between the two stores has begun claiming casualties closer to home.

“We were in a rut,” said Poundland store manager Gilbert Thruppence. “People I held dear to me and considered friends were deserting us for the draw of those sweet 1p savings.”

Mr Thruppence glanced through the 99p Stores front window on his way into work one morning only to be faced with the heart-rending image of his fiance inside the rival shop, her hands all over a five-pack of loofah.

This emotional tipping-point spawned the idea for Poundlands counter attack. In a huge move the Poundland franchise has bought the rights to rename the Island. From the 1st of January 2014 the Isle of Wight will be recognised internationally as Poundland.

“We did it as a gesture to everyone that anything worth less more or less than exactly £1 is not welcome here,” said Mr Thruppence. “Not 99p, nor £1.01. We will have dominion!”