Godshill Revealed as Syrias Biggest Chemical Weapon Depot

Details from the Syrian chemical weapons report reveal that Syrian President Bashar al-Assad has been using the Island tourist village of Godshill as their biggest chemical weapon depot.

Along with some 50 storage sites across the northern region of Syria bordering Turkey, the report handed to UN weapons inspectors in October describes a massive deposit of chemical weapons located in Godshill.

The report lists Godshill as having an inventory of over 1000 tonnes of chemical agents including: sulphur mustard, VX, and sarin.

An unusual choice of site to locate their biggest chemical weapon silo, global officials initially suspected Syria had been covering up a possible offensive move on western nations.

Questioned by authorities President Assad said, “I was not planning an attack on Europe. Not at all.”

President Assad said the storage facility was located in Godshill for its rustic charm and its tourist attractions.

“I love the Isle of Wight, Godshill most of all,” said President Assad. “It is such a charming little village. It has everything a guy like me could want, a pub, a chocolate shop, and a frequent bus service to Newport. Sometimes I like to stomp around the model village and pretend I am crushing the puny little villagers, what fun!”

When asked why holiday trips to Godshill necessitated locating his largest chemical weapon silo there President Assad responded, “I like to take my work with me. I am a busy guy. I need holidays, but I cannot just up and leave. There is vicious dictating to be done.”

Located at a storage facility in the woods behind Tottlebottom Farm, the chemical agents will be evenly distributed between chemistry laboratories in Island schools to help invigorate science lessons.