Filthy EU Seawater Claiming UK Benefits

Identified as the biggest new threat to the economy, Britain has seen a surge of filthy EU seawater illegally entering the country and both taking our jobs and sponging of our benefits system.

Seawater from the EU has been sneaking past UK immigration, entering the country through any means possible. Many towns and cities across the south of Britain have seen their communities literally flooded with dirty European water.

“Difference scares me”, said Somerset resident Jemima Ponce. “Thats why I dont like this disgusting foreign water. It looks strange and doesnt follow the culture of British water.”

I shouldnt have to walk down my street knee deep in water that cant be bothered to flow in the proper British fashion.

The surge of illegal moisture immigration began December last year. Since its arrival it has spent its time stealing British jobs, living in British rivers and leeching off our benefits system.

Council buildings in Exeter and Dorset have been flooded with European water claiming living benefits. Even the Job Centre here on the Isle of Wight has reported higher than expected moisture levels.

“More and more have we seen British rainwater pushed out onto the street”, said Isle of Wight UKIP representative Hugo Bigotham. “Space usually reserved for British water in our rivers and reservoirs has been taken up by dirty, illegal, European water.

I want to see British rivers brought back to British water.”