Existentialist Seagull Demands Cream Tea, Sick of Chips

Relinquishing his chains and speaking out above the rest, one Seagull has refused to abide by the lifestyle of monotony followed every day by his companions.

After recently purchasing and reading a series of early twentieth-century existentialist literature Jean-Claude of Binnel Bay has decided to fight out against restraints placed upon him by the absurdity of life itself.

“No-one but myself understands”, said Jean-Claude. “The others shun me as an outsider. They are all imbeciles, unable to see that I am now free. I have relinquished my chains chains placed upon me by lifes ridiculous expectations.”

Jean-Claude began his expedition into freedom by assaulting one passer-by along Ventnor esplanade. The holiday-maker from Brisbane, Australia, tossed Jean-Claude the last of his chips. No longer bound by societal expectations Jean-Claude shunned the chips and flew directly towards the visitor, viciously beating his wings against the mans skull.

“I do not care for chips”, explained Jean-Claude after the incident. “I never have. From now on I will dine only upon cream teas. I once tried a fragment of a scone, but the others frowned upon me. I did not fit their social paradigms. Now I finally know that I do not need to. I am truly alive.”

Jean-Claude has since moved to Londons South Bank. He partakes in slam poetry meetings every Wednesday and has made plans to find himself whilst backpacking across New Zealand next summer.