Isle of Wight to be Sold on Ebay

In a desperate bid to fill the black hole in the Isle of Wight Councils budget, the Island is to sold off on online auction house Ebay.

Following a huge financial squeeze as a result of governmental cuts, increased costs and difficulties in revenue generation, the Isle of Wight Council has resorted to one final desperate move to fill its looming £28million budgetary black hole. As of yesterday The Isle of Wight is up for sale on the online auction house Ebay.

Proceeds from the sale will be used to fill the budget holes in the areas most affected by financial cuts. Healthcare, road maintenance, and Godshill Womans Institute top the list.

Plans to offer the the Island for sale on Ebay were met with some opposition from within the Council.

Cllr Stuart Fink attacked the move. “It is an utterly preposterous idea! Everyone knows Ebay is a dying platform. Amazon is the way forward. You set your own price, monitor competition and Amazon opens your listing up to a much larger customer audience. Idiots.”

Cllr Ian Stephens, the brains behind the plan, was optimistic in the face of criticism. “This is the best idea Ive had since putting on my trousers before my shoes. The Island is hot stuff, everyone wants a slice of this pie and now they can snap up the whole cherry pudding.”

The winner of the auction will be presented with the deeds to the Isle of Wight, declaring them as Majestic Lord Emperor Island. This grants the freedom to claim land, pass laws, own slaves, and a 20% discount on food with complimentary tea and coffee at selected Isle of Wight cafés.

The Ebay listing was created yesterday. The rights to the Isle of Wight started off at 99p. No reserve has been set.