Ventnor Town Council to Intervene in Ukraine

The United Nations have elected Ventnor Town Council as the interim government for the Ukraine until elections in May.

After weeks of escalating violence in the capital of Kiev which saw the flight of Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych, the United Nations held an urgent meeting to elect a temporary governing body for the Ukraine.

After hearing their proposal to create and locate more power in what they described as “tactical democratic Women’s Institutes” Ventnor Town Council were voted-in unanimously. They will be shipped out first class to Kiev early tomorrow morning.

“It isn’t going to be easy,” said Councillor Maureen Prattle. “We are proposing a complete overhaul of the country’s image, that means a of lot intense coffee mornings, and a whole lot of bunting.”

The Ventnor Town Council hope to stimulate the Ukrainian economy through the strategic implementation of coffee mornings, bric-a-brac sales, and bingo evenings in problem areas.

A synchronised injection of bunting and street parties is also proposed in order to help restore morale and faith in government.

“The Ukrainians will love a nice bit of bunting, I know it,” said Cllr. Prattle. “And from what I can tell, they already love a good street party.”

Despite the difficulties which lay ahead the councillors seem optimistic, eager to arrive and tackle the tasks ahead of them.

“I can’t wait to get there. I’ve always wanted to visit Ukraine,” said Cllr. Prattle. “I hear their sushi is amazing!”