Isle of Wight Braces For Flood of Sympathetic Politicians

The Isle of Wight has taken precautions to keep at bay the rising levels of sympathetic UK political officials. 

Throughout the country communities have been forced to endure the pitying stares of British politicians, desperate to prove to the population that, like everyone else, they are capable of feeling sad about stuff.

“Everything is wet”, observed Prime Minister David Cameron. “This makes me feel sad. Sadder than the opposition.”

“I have feelings”, said Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. “Yesterday I cried at an episode of Veronica Mars.”

Political leaders have spent the past few days attempting to help out flooded communities by pointing out with their hands which items have been affected by the flood, and then looking sad about the whole situation.

Against all suggestions from Whitehall the Isle of Wight has decided to resist their help.

In an outstanding pre-emptive effort the entire northern coast of the Isle of Wight, from Freshwater to Bembridge, will fitted with a giant reflective surface.

Any politicians crossing the Solent who look at the mirror will be confronted with their best “oh isn’t this just awful expression” staring back at them. It is hoped that the politician will then, out of shame, either re-evaluate their political strategy or turn to stone